How to Be More Confident

fall blazer outfit with jeans

Plaid Blazer, similar (mine is old) | Black Lace Cami, wearing a small, also love this one | Wedgie Icon Jeans, run TTS and have no stretch | Newbury Boots, TTS | Trapeze Satchel | Indio Sunglasses | Lipstick in 9 to 5

Shortly after Owen was born, actually, really before he arrived, I really started struggling with my confidence. For the first time in forever, I felt like I didn’t know where my life was headed.

I was about to embark on this whole new chapter of my life, but what did that mean for the other chapters. Were my stylish blogging days over now that I was lumped into the “mom” category? I honestly think I believed that for a while, but then something clicked and I woke the F up.

They say the real postpartum period lasts several YEARS, not just a few weeks or months after our kids are born and I have found that to be so true. Owen turns two in a couple of weeks and I just now feel like I’m really finding my groove and coming back to the person I really am.

Best Plaid Blazers for Fall

My confidence has grown a lot over the past few months and I realized a few common themes that had helped me get here and I wanted to share them with you guys!

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8 Tips for Being More Confident

Stop Trying to Please Everyone

Here’s a hard truth—no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t please everyone. Not everyone is going to like you. I mean, do you like everyone you meet? Doubtful.

Being a blogger has essentially a crash course in growing a thick skin and realizing that you’re not going to make everyone happy, and that’s okay.

The more you try to please people, the further away you get from who YOU really are.

Surround Yourself with Good People

Good people is going to mean something different for everyone because we’re all different. Forget the people who don’t jive with you and find the ones that do—those are the people that will lift you up, support you and make you feel like the best version of yourself. Those are the people you want to be around!

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Dress the Part

This one may seem a little silly, but it really works. Have you ever walked into a party and realized that you’re completely underdressed? It’s humiliating, right? You shrink into yourself, act quiet and hope no one notices you.

But, when you walk in wearing an outfit that makes you feel like the best, most sassy version of yourself (again, different for all of us!), how do you feel? Like a freaking goddess, right?! Meeting new people is a breeze, you feel confident and comfortable in your own skin.

That is how I aim to feel everyday. Sure, I still wear sweatpants at home, but when I go out, I want to look and feel my best, and dressing the part always does it for me. This outfit makes me feel all those warm fuzzy things—classic, a touch edgy and cool. I weirdly love telling people I’m a mom because I don’t know why but I just don’t think they’re going to expect it when I have on this get-up! Am I weird? Haha, yes….

Take Care of Yourself

I’ve talked a lot about how important self-care is, and there’s really two parts to it.

One, taking care of your mental and physical health will result in a happier, more content you! When you feel good, it’s easier to be the best version of yourself, right?! So, maybe you’ve been holding off on seeing a doctor for those migraines that you keep getting, or that back pain, or that trauma that happened a few years ago. Girl, you are WORTH the money!

The best money I ever spent was on my health. At the time, it felt like such an indulgence, but looking back, I’m so grateful I did it because who knows where my hormones would be now if I didn’t take care of myself.

Two, when you take care of yourself, you’re elevating your own vision of yourself. The more you treat yourself to an afternoon reading a book, or grabbing a coffee with your friend, the more you believe you do deserve these moments. And, you do! We all need a second to breathe. I wasn’t expecting self-care to be such an empowering thing, but it really is!

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Know Your Worth

I find this one especially helpful when it comes to work. If you’re looking for a new job, applying for a new role or pitching yourself for a project—know your worth. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve! Women are historically underpaid, and I have a feeling part of that is because we’re always relying on someone else to tell us our worth when it comes to our salaries and rates.

It’s empowering to ask for what you believe you deserve and then get it. When you go into those conversations with confidence, you’ll be surprised that most people won’t fight you on it.

Fake It Til You Make It

Okay guys, I’m not big on faking my feelings, but when it comes to confidence, sometimes you gotta fake it a bit until it starts feeling natural. I promise, it does come with time, and actually age too. The older I’ve gotten, the less I care about what random strangers think of me. I speak up in crowds even though I’m naturally shy, and just own it, even though it freaks me out a bit!

Put Your Face On

I’m not saying that you should get up and put on a full face of makeup each and every morning, but I’m not saying you shouldn’t either. What makes each of us feel like ourselves is different. So, if you feel best wearing no makeup, or very light makeup, rock it! And, if you feel best with fake eyelashes and contouring, by all means girl, go for it!

Personally, I fall somewhere in between. I don’t feel confident with no makeup on, but I don’t like to spend too much time doing it either. If you want to see my everyday makeup tutorial, it’s in this post.

If you’re not sure where you land—test different options out—you’ll soon figure out what makes you feel most like you.

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Step Outside your Comfort Zone

Part of gaining confidence is pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and realizing you can actually do the things you’re scared of. Each time you do that, you grow and build a little more confidence, so keep doing the things that scare you a little bit.

Every single time I do this, I’m always so grateful that I did it! Typically, it’s less scary than I thought and I feel a surge of confidence and energy I didn’t have before!

Okay, on that note, let’s get this week started with a little more confidence!

photos by Jules Kennedy

BTW, the grey sweater you need for fall, and embracing change and trusting the timing of your life.

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