How to Go from Negative to Positive Self-Talk
Skinny Overalls (see my post on how to style overalls 4 ways) | Cashmere V-Neck Sweater | Golden Goose Sneakers, runs TTS (wearing a 39, normally I’m 8.5-9), also love these sneakers and these | Kent Cardigan, wearing XS (also available here) | Lipstick in Beautycounter Red
The mind is a truly powerful thing. It’s like, duh, we know that, but if we can actually harness that power it can be truly life-changing.
Case in point—I was reading an article on healing your skin holistically the other day (one of my favorite topics to read about these days), and they talked a lot about how powerful the mind was in healing and I suddenly had a thought.
Could my thinking and beliefs be a reason why I my skin would never fully clear? Maybe you’re like um, okay, chill Blair, you’re getting a little woo woo for me now. But, hear me out. We know how bad negative self-talk can be. You repeat the same negative things to yourself and soon enough, you actually believe them. Those crappy thoughts become your reality. They define you, and can even control and negatively impact your daily life.
When I think of negative self-talk, I usually think of things like “I’m ugly, I’m too fat/skinny, no one will ever love me, I’m not worthy, I’m not smart enough, etc.” But, I hadn’t considered the way we think of our health as potential negative self-talk. “My skin will never be that clear/smooth/youthful, I’ll never heal, I’ll always struggle with energy, I’ll never get pregnant, etc.”
It’s all the same really, right? We’re putting negative ideas in our head and the more repeat them, the more we believe them, the more they become our reality.
But, guess what? Believe it or not, we have the power to change our own beliefs. Remember—I said the mind is a powerful thing! Changing our negative self-talk to positive self-talk is yet another piece of the healing puzzle.
I’ve added it to my daily life too. I actually used to repeat a mantra each morning and at some point I just sort of stopped. I can’t remember when or why, but I’m picking it back up. It might sound cheesy or weird, but trust me, it absolutely works.
Another technique I’ve started using is one I learned from Headspace, the meditation app I use (though not enough). It’s called visualization and essentially you close your eyes, take a few deep breathes and repeat your mantra in your head while visualizing the things you want for yourself. This can be good health, getting pregnant, having clear skin or something totally different like envisioning yourself in your dream job, waking up doing exactly what you want, living the life you’ve always wanted for yourself.
Believe it and it will happen.
Even if you’re a naturally positive person, I think there’s all something that we talk down to ourselves about. Something we believe about ourselves that isn’t really true.
Maybe it’s a defense mechanism? “I’m just not a very good salesperson”—I know I’ve used this excuse to hide behind when I feel like I’m falling short in my business. Why? I don’t really know, I suppose it’s easier than actually figuring out why I’m not a good salesperson and confronting other things that scare me a bit.
But, here’s the deal, the more I tell myself I’m not a good salesperson or won’t ever have clear skin or will never feel 100% energetic and healthy, the more I manifest those things in my everyday life.
I’ve taken it upon myself to change my own negative self-talk. It’s not always easy, but the more I do it, the more it comes naturally, and the better and more confident I feel. It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve been doing this, but it’s working!
So, today, I challenge you to change your internal dialogue on something that you have negative relationship with. Reframe your negative self-talk to make it positive and repeat it (out-loud and in your head) over and over until you really start to believe it. It might feel funny or awkward, but keep doing it—it gets easier and easier.
Lastly, don’t forget that you’re in control of your thoughts and you can change them! It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it because YOU are worth it!