How’s Your Heart?

Stop for a second and ask yourself, how’s your heart?

This time last year, my heart was in a rough spot. We were in Dallas for the weekend and I’d woken up early to tend to some client emails while Rob slept in. I opened my inbox to a furiously angry email from a client, and my heart sank. The design business I’d spent years building, seemed to be falling apart in front of my eyes. Seconds later, my mom came downstairs, I turned around and just started crying.

I was trying desperately to make things work, but it seemed like the universe was working against me. Everything I did to try and save my business failed. For every step forward I made, I also took two steps back. It was by far one of the most challenging and frustrating times of my career.

Yes, my feelings were hurt, and yes, my body craved sleep, but most of all my heart hurt. And, for the first time ever, I simply wanted to quit. The long weeks dealing with angry clients and unresponsive developers was a big part of it, but more than anything my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. The passion seemed to be gone.

And, if I’m being 100% honest, one year before this incident, so two years from now, I knew the passion was waning. Sure, it was fun enough, creative enough, allowed me to have my own schedule (well, sort of) and paid the bills, but it no longer filled my soul and made me want to jump out of bed in the morning like it had in previous years. I knew there was nothing wrong with that, but what was next, was a big fat question mark.

Last week I noticed that my heart was hurting a bit. It was nothing like last year, but I was feeling beat down from a crazy schedule, worn out, and downright exhausted. I needed a nap. And maybe a trip to the beach—somewhere without wifi preferably.

Crazy enough, the thing that had really been missing was time to write. Okay, sleep was a close second. I was very surprised to come to this conclusion, as I used to despise writing, but after my writing class, I’ve really come to love it. I’ve also realized that spending an hour or two alone with my thoughts, is very therapeutic for me. Like yoga a bit! It’s so soothing, peaceful and relaxing, and by the end, even if I’m physically exhausted, my head and heart are in a better place. It’s so important to take the time to care for our emotional health, don’t you think?

Within the past two weeks, I couldn’t remember one time where I sat in silence and just wrote.

Thankfully, the universe was working in my favor last Thursday. My plans got cancelled, and my day opened right up. I put off the rest of my to-do list for later that day, made some coffee and started writing.

By the time I finished this post, I was already feeling better. Surely the caffeine didn’t hurt either. So tell me, have you found yourself in a similar spot? What did you do to turn it around?

P.S. I made the most delicious pumpkin bread this weekend and you need to try it! You can find the recipe below!