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How Do You Know If You’ve Found Yourself?

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“Finding yourself” is one of those phrases you begin hearing in adolescence, and then in your 20s the pressure to actually obtain this ambiguous aspiration starts setting in. I remember waiting for an ah-ha moment when it would happen, sometimes getting bummed when I didn’t think I was “there” yet. And as I’ve gotten older and very close to my 30s, I’ve settled upon the fact that the process of finding myself will always be evolving.

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I definitely feel more secure in myself—which happens slowly over the years by experiencing and learning from life and growing more internally compassionate—and maybe that means I’ve found myself? I’m more in tune with what I need in life and live from a place of doing what I want and not what everyone else is doing—maybe that means I’ve found myself?

But if that’s true, what’s next? If I’ve already found myself, then what do I have to look forward to in terms of personal growth? Once you find yourself, do you settle into that specific mindset for infinity?

I definitely want to keep improving, changing, and finding better versions of myself as life goes on. I want to be open to what the next decade of myself looks like, and the one after that. The term “finding yourself” has turned into a daily intention vs. a cryptic target that I set out to catch when I was younger.

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Instead of finding ourselves, I think we should focus on finding what makes us truly happy—from clothes we’re comfortable in to our hobbies and taste in music—and living from that space. And maybe that’s what whoever created the term meant. Either way, I like the idea of coming back to what lights me up while finding new ways to celebrate what I uniquely bring to this world.

How do you interpret the term?

BTW, 8 lessons I’ve learned in two years of marriage, and where did you meet your person?

Today’s post is written by contributor Chelsea Becker, a San Diego native, living and writing in San Francisco. Follow her on Instagram & Pinterest.