6 Signs That a Friendship is Over

how to know when a friendship is over

Letting go of a friendship you once valued more than anything isn’t an easy thing to do. After a certain point, though, sometimes it’s best to just let bygones be bygones and go your separate ways. This was a major lesson I learned in my twenties, and one I still value today. Bottom line, when you spend more time worrying about the state of your friendship than you do actually enjoying it, it could be time to evaluate some things. As painful as it might be, these are a few of the red flags to watch out for.

You Find Yourself Gossiping About Her

It’s easy to convince yourself when a friendship isn’t working out that it’s your friend’s fault, not yours. Maybe she did do something to hurt you, and that’s not OK, but if you’re now spending time gossiping with others about her, that doesn’t help either. Try to be aware of the conversations you’re having and realize if you repeatedly bring her up. If this is the case, try to stop and distance yourself from that negativity asap.


This is probably the biggest thing to be aware of. If you catch your friend in a lie, or maybe even find yourself telling one, it’s time to move on. Even constant little likes about why you can’t meet up, or why you didn’t take their call (which I’ve definitely done!) Lies will only perpetuate any previous problems and create more reasons for the two of you to be upset with one another. This kind of behavior can turn toxic fast, so exit the situation while doing the least amount of damage.

Lack of Communication

We all have days when picking up the phone and making a call seems like a lot of work. I totally get it, I’ve been there! But for the friendships that really matter, you always make it happen! When you stop hearing from someone and don’t feel the desire to reach out yourself, it might mean the friendship is done.

Neither of You Make an Effort to Fix Things

If an issue occurs after a disagreement, someone usually has to be the bigger person and apologize or reach out first. If you feel passionately that you shouldn’t have to be that person, and weeks go by without hearing from your friend, things may not be fixable.

Different Interests

When you’ve been friends with someone since you were kids, growing into adults together can be tricky. You’ve probably seen each other go through everything, but sometimes people grow apart. As each of you figures out who you are and the kind of life you want to live, those paths can head in completely opposite directions. Be true to yourself and don’t be afraid to lose someone that doesn’t fit into that new life.

You Stop Making Time for Each Other

Some friendships can go for months, even years, without a ton of tender loving care. Others require constant lunches and frequent get-togethers to feel connected. When you no longer feel the need to set aside three lunch hours a month for that friend from college, it might be best to just treasure the memories you made together and move on.

Have you had to deal with ending friendships? Or been on the other end? Any signs to watch out for?

BTW, 6 honest ways to make girl friends in a new city, and 3 things to look for in a healthy relationship.

Today’s post is written by contributor Chelsea Becker, a San Diego native, living and writing in San Francisco. Follow her on Instagram & Pinterest.

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