As I’m sure we all know, it’s easy to get blinded in any relationship, whether it’s romantic or platonic. When you spend a ton of time with someone else, you get used to them, and it can be hard to tell whether the relationship is truly healthy. In some of my relationships, I’ve needed to take a step back and re-evaluate if they’re contributing positively to my life (not always the easiest thing). To help me with that, I’ve pinpointed a few things that are musts for me:
Whether it’s a friendship or a significant other, having a natural connection is the base for a solid relationship. This is something that simply comes—or doesn’t come—naturally. Something you don’t have to force, you know?
A good way to tell if you have a natural connection with someone is if you don’t have too many “awkward moments.” Things just seem to flow when you’re together, and you don’t feel like you’re constantly searching for things to talk about.
You know those people you just seem to gravitate towards—you just get each other and genuinely enjoy each other’s company? That kind of chemistry means you have a natural connection. When you have to force a connection with someone, spending time together will probably start to feel like work, since you’ll be putting in so much effort to try and connect.
In any healthy relationship lives trust. It’s not healthy to always be worrying about someone doing something behind your back, or if someone is lying to you.
I’ve found that at the root of many of my relationships is the fear of being let down. But when you really trust someone, those fears seem subside. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you don’t feel the need to constantly check in on that person, which is a great feeling.
Although trust sometimes takes time to earn, it’s one of those things that has always taken my relationships to the next level. Once you trust each other and know things are for real, you can let your guard down. Don’t get me wrong—it’s not uncommon for couples or friends to have trust issues from time to time, but if you find yourself constantly worried about a friend or S.O. doing something to break your trust, it’s probably a sign that your relationship isn’t super healthy. It might be time to move on!
Especially in a romantic relationship, being able to have a life separate from each other is crucial. For example, meeting up with the girls without having to invite your guy (and vice versa!). Or even having a solo hobby. Doing your own thing is smart, and it makes the time you do spend together that much more special.
What happens when you spend every moment together is you tend to lose yourself a little bit. At least I do! And whether you realize it’s happening or not, you take on the traits of people you spend a ton of time with. This isn’t a completely bad thing, but imagine how much you could potentially change when you spend every moment with someone else! It’s important to not lose yourself in a relationship, and to maintain some sort of independence from each other.
Are these things present in your relationships? What other things do you look for in a healthy relationship?