Balancing Work & Being a New Mom

Parsons Desk | Juju Hat | White Basket | Pink Rug (similar) | Sleeveless Sweater (similar) | Distressed Jeans | Slide-on Sneakers

It’s crazy to think that Owen is 3 months old today! He’s grown and changed so much and continues to everyday and at three months, I feel infinitely better about my abilities to parent, even though it’s not perfect at all. Another big change at three months? For most women with office jobs, your maternity is officially over. It still blows my mind how short maternity leave is in the United States. At this stage, I finally feel like I’m getting the hang of things and then you throw in another big change?!

On the flip side, after three months, I’m starting to miss parts of my old life that I don’t get as much time for anymore. One of those being work. I love what I do and miss doing it. I wish I could just be okay to take care of my baby all day, but when I’m not working, a big part of who I am feels lost and it makes me pretty upset. I love Owen to the moon and back, but I’m still the same person I was before he was born and feeding my own passion makes me a happier, better version of myself for Owen and Rob.

That being said, I feel very lucky to work from home and have a job that caters to my new lifestyle, but finding the time to sit down and actually get things done is so much harder than I imagined it would be. I assumed it would be easy to just work while he napped, because obviously babies take perfect 1.5-2 hour naps multiple times a day, never wake up early or start crying—ha! Ahhh, wouldn’t that be a dream! My whole plan to “work while he naps” was quickly foiled. The other thing I hadn’t considered was that when he was napping, it wasn’t just work that had to be done, I still needed to do laundry, clean the kitchen, shower and feed myself. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day, and for you mamas that are out there doing it all yourself, I applaud you!

In the past few weeks I finally decided I needed to make some decisions that would allow more time for me to do things that filled my cup. Like the old saying goes, “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. The first thing I decided to do was to hire someone once a week for a few hours so I could sit in my office and knock out work without being interrupted. The second, was to join a gym with childcare. I’ve really missed being able to workout regularly, especially since it’s such a good way to de-stress! Plus, the gym is really more of an athletic club, so if I need to go and get more work done, I can do that too!

I know a lot of moms feel guilty leaving their babies to do something for themselves, and I totally get it. Day one with our nanny, I felt terrible when I heard him crying, even though she was snuggling him and playing with him! It’ll take some time for me to get used to, but at the end of the day, I felt so much more fulfilled because I’d done something for myself, and after he finally got a good nap, he was back to normal too!

It’s only been a week, and it was definitely an adjustment, but we’re figuring it out. Instead of working every day, I now try to get most of my work done on Wednesdays when the nanny is here. It’s amazing how much I can knock out in four uninterrupted hours! It’s not everything, but it’s a lot! The rest of the week, I work when I can, but don’t put a lot of pressure on myself for getting everything done. You might notice that I’ve been posting less too because I don’t have time to keep up my old schedule. I decided quality was better than quantity, so I hope you agree! I’ve also been taking advantage of the gym’s child care leave Owen for two hours while I get in a workout and get some work done. It’s a quick break, but so necessary for me to feel like a human! It’s also much easier for me to focus and get things done when I know he’s in safe, loving hands getting playtime and attention! It also really helps when I can’t hear him crying, haha!

I’m sure we’ll get into a better swing of things over the next few weeks as Owen gets used to the nanny and child care and I get more comfortable leaving him. I also know that my guilty feelings will subside too. It’s so tough to strike the right balance, but I know that if I don’t find a good balance, I’m going to be left feeling sad, unfulfilled and constantly stressed. So, if you’re like me and feeling a little guilty about taking time for yourself, don’t! We’ll be better at everything if we take the time to take care of ourselves!

Since I’ve set aside specific times for work, I can now give Owen more of time and not be worried about everything else that hasn’t been done yet. We get out of the house more on those days which has been great as he gets more active and alert. Last week we went to music class at Monica & Andy and then met up with Jess for lunch. We went to the pre-crawlers class and it was totally adorable! He loved the music and it was so nice for me to be around other adults! This week I’m hoping to go to the indoor pool with him at the gym to see how he likes it before our trip to Miami. Also on our activity list is visiting the Garfield Park Conservatory and some museums, apparently a lot of them have free admission on certain days of the week. What activities do you like to do with your baby? I’m always looking for more ideas!

Finding balance between work and being a new mom is a learning process and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. You simply have to figure out what works for you and your baby. This season of life has been both incredibly magical and incredibly difficult. I’ve learned to let go and worry less and have continued to find more patience and understanding. I’ve also seen some ugly sides of myself—getting really frustrated when Owen won’t nap or blows out another outfit. I think I’ve been more emotional these past three months than I was my entire pregnancy. There’s no doubt that motherhood is hard, but I keep holding onto a little quote a friend told—”this too shall pass”—and it’s so true. Babies change on the regular, so whatever you’re dealing with this week, might be a faint memory next week!

Our new balance isn’t perfect just yet, but taking those two little steps has made a world of difference to me. My weeks feel less lonely and long and more exciting and fun! When I’m feeling at peace and calm about everything, Owen is much better too. He naps better, eats better, is happier and more playful and who doesn’t want that?!

So, tell me, if you work, how do you balance your job and being a new mom? What struggles have you hit? And lastly, how are YOU feeling?

BTW, breastfeeding and what’s working for us, and how we picked Owen’s name.