My Fears about Becoming a Mom

Dress: High/Low Maternity Dress, also in navy, similar non-maternity dress | Shoes: Rope Gladiator Sandals, also love this pair and this pair | Bag: Escapade Crossbody Bag, also available here | Jewelry: Gorjana Necklace

Okay, so today’s post is more probably more applicable to my pregnant readers and readers who are already mothers, but that been said, I think it’s a good read for anyone who thinks children are in their near (or far) future.

I’ve always known that I wanted a family, but I’ve never been one of those girls who is inherently good with kids. To be honest, I always feel a little awkward around other people’s children. What am I suppose to say to them?! But nonetheless, I knew I wanted my own and that it would be different when they were ours.

When we decided to take the leap and start a new phase of our life, I was so excited, but shortly after I got pregnant, a few fears started popping up. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about certain aspects of being a mom. Most of all, I was worried about what would happen to me. Does that sound selfish? Probably, but I can’t imagine I’m the first one to think that.

I thought about how my my career would shift, my hobbies, my friendships, my identity. I value all those things a lot and because I love what I do, it’s become a part of my identity, and I was nervous on how things would change when a baby entered the picture. Not to mention the actual physical act of childbirth (trying to just not think about that until it happens!). What would it mean for this blog, my career, our love of traveling? It sounds bad, but it’s the truth.

But, sometime around 23 weeks a new feeling came over me and my perspective changed hugely. I wasn’t stressed out about hitting a certain number on my monthly “paycheck”, whether or not my to-do list was finished, or concerned with how the future of my career looked. I wasn’t even that worried about what would eventually happen to my body come November. Suddenly it all just didn’t seem to matter all that much.

 
My priorities shifted—I realized that the best thing I could do for our baby now, was to take the best care of myself, both mentally and physically. I have to admit, it’s easier said than done and a few weeks ago I really struggled. My back and hips were hurting really bad and I was really discouraged that I couldn’t work out and wasn’t getting the rest I needed. Our babymoon helped a bunch though!

Focusing on taking care of myself and getting prepared for what’s to come has been my focus. I’m trying to do the things that make me happy, and leaving stress and worries at the door. Let’s face it, most of the things I get stressed about are really nothing in the grand scheme of things anyway.

It’s not to say that I’m suddenly super confident about becoming a mom. I still have plenty of worries and fears and I definitely don’t feel prepared. Our nursery still houses junk leftover from our move, and I have no idea which products to buy or which books are really best to read. I know it’s going to be hard (though, I’m sure I don’t know how hard), and I know we’ll be exhausted and get angry, frustrated and feel like failures.

But, when I see my parents joy and excitement just being with us, even as adults, I know that what’s about to happen to us is going to be the best thing ever. Yes, even with the sleepless nights and endless loads of laundry.

It’s also been really eye-opening to watch all of my friends who have become moms in the past few years. Something changes in them and oh, my gosh they just seem so happy and content, even in the midst of a tantrum or diaper explosion. You guys are the biggest encouragement I could have, so thank you!!!

Did you feel a certain sense of calm come over you in your pregnancy? What worries and fears did you have throughout your pregnancy?

BTW, a 26 week pregnancy update, and the book that changed my life.